Lost Boy
by S J Smith-Evil Little Dog
Summary: Edward and Alphonse had a life after they wound up in Germany.  Al's daughter, Winry, remembers all of it.
1. Lost Boy

**Title:** Lost Boy

**Author:** S J Smith

**Rating:** Teen

**Disclaimer:** Arakawa owns all. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Summary: **Edward and Alphonse had a life after they arrived in Germany. Al's daughter, Winry, remembers it all.

**Note: ** This story should actually be a triptych but I don't feel like deleting the chapters from where they were originally published. While you can read this story without reading the other two, you might want to go to my chapter fic, 3Some, and read chapters 14 and 34, as they, specifically, inspired this story.

X X X

When Winry was younger, Uncle Edward was her favorite playmate. He knew all sorts of games and didn't care that she was a girl and shouldn't shoot marbles or play baseball or scream and run and wrestle. He said the girl she'd been named after did all of those things and more – why shouldn't she?

So Mommy looked the other way when Uncle Edward and Daddy played with her, when they taught her about science and chemistry and read to her about medicine and Darwinism and all sorts of things girls probably shouldn't have stuck their noses in. Tommy Madison tried to beat her up once 'cause she was 'too smart' – but she gave him a bloody nose and a black eye instead and sent him running home to his mom, screaming and crying. Her mom had to pretend she wasn't proud but Winry knew better.

Uncle Edward had laughed 'til he cried when he heard the story and, giving a tousle of her hair, told her it was a good thing she hadn't had a wrench.

Daddy told Uncle Edward not to be so encouraging but he'd smiled when he'd said it.

X X X

When she was older, science and chemistry and learning to fix things wasn't quite as important. The other girls laughed at her when she had dirt under her nails from digging in the garden and made fun of her for the freckles dotting her cheeks and arms. Being laughed at hurt, more than she liked to admit. Winry still helped with the garden and still read the books her uncle brought her from his travels, but she wanted to have friends, too; friends who were her own age.

Charlie, at least, thought she was wonderful, and she returned the sentiment. And he wasn't scared of Uncle Edward or Daddy, even after seeing them sparring in the yard. He listened to their stories with wide-eyed wonder, and told her in confidence he wanted to be as great a man as her relatives.

When he said he loved her, well, at least she knew he meant it.

X X X

She and Charlie had three boys: Charles IV, Alphonse and Edward. Joan almost seemed like an afterthought, coming five years after Eddie's birth. She took after her own daddy with his light blond, wavy hair but her eyes were rich blue. The boys all had brown eyes and dark hair, like their mother and grandmother, so Joannie's coloring was a surprise.

Uncle Edward taught Joannie the same way he'd taught Winry herself; reading to her from scientific magazines and books, filling her head with things that no girl should know. And Winry loved him for it.

X X X

Joannie had a streak of romanticism in her, something Winry never quite understood. She didn't have the same stocky build as the other children; instead, she was a waif-like creature, prone to flitting about. Charlie called her 'Tinker Bell', after the character in Mr. Barry's book – her favorite. She'd like a chapter read to her each night before bed, thank you.

Even Uncle Edward got into it, though he said Mr. Barry's book was nonsense and better for Joannie to learn rather than dream. He always said it with a bittersweet smile on his face, though, and would read about Neverland to Joannie until she fell asleep.

X X X

As Joannie grew older, as all little girls must, she had questions Winry couldn't answer. Who'd made Uncle Edward's arm and leg? Why wasn't he married? Why did he vanish for weeks – sometimes months – once a year – on end? Did he have another family hidden away?

When Winry couldn't really answer, Joannie had nodded, folding her arms, her mouth pouting. "He's a lost boy. He's looking for a way to get back to Neverland and his Wendy."

"Wendy didn't stay in Neverland, darling."

"Maybe she did for Uncle Edward."

And Winry had nothing to say to that logic.

X X X

Winry broached Joannie's questions about Uncle Edward, and his life, to Daddy. Daddy had smiled, and stared off into the distance, and said something that practical Winry couldn't understand – that his brother was a wandering soul, with dreams in his heart that wouldn't - couldn't – ever come true. Daddy had turned to her then, still grinning. "It doesn't mean he doesn't keep searching for them."

"Joannie thinks he's like Peter Pan."

Daddy had laughed at that, shaking his head, though Winry caught a glimpse of an expression she'd only seen rarely in her father's eyes. "Ed grew up a long time ago. That's the difference."

X X X

As Joannie grew up, Uncle Edward grew older, silver streaking through the gold strands of his hair. By the time she was married, to a man with a square face, blond hair and eyes nearly as blue as hers, Uncle Edward's hair was nearly white. Chas had the first great-great grandchild; a little boy named after him, his father, his grandfather and his great-grandfather. Alfie had the second, another little boy, David. Eddie was killed in the war, leaving behind a fiancée and a grieving family. Joannie thought she'd name her baby after him.

The little girl was a surprise, and born with hair as pale as cornsilk. Her eyes remained as blue as the sky. Joannie and Richard named her Edy, and she was only a few months younger than David. It didn't seem long before she was crawling, then walking, then chasing after her cousins. The three of them were practically inseparable, more like siblings than cousins. Daddy and Uncle Edward doted on the three of them, like they had all the kids since Winry's birth.

But Winry couldn't help but notice both her Daddy and her uncle's eyes following little Edy's form as she raced around, and wonder at the peculiar, wistful expressions in their gazes.

X X X

When Edy was four, Uncle Edward went on another one of his trips. It wasn't supposed to be for long, but he'd been gone for over a month before Daddy got word Uncle Edward was in a hospital in London. No one across the pond could really explain what happened but Daddy got the first flight out. Winry offered to go but Joannie was the one Daddy asked to take him.

It was hard to wait, so very hard. Uncle Edward was timeless. Sure, his hair turned white, and maybe he was a little slower – just a little – but he was still so smart! And they didn't really know what had happened so they could only guess, and that made it so much worse.

When Joannie finally called, the news wasn't good. Her voice cracked and wavered. "Uncle Edward isn't coming home with us, Mom."

X X X

Charlie thought Uncle Edward should've had a Viking funeral but, as appealing as that was to the younger men, Daddy won out. The ceremony would take place in the graveyard, as Uncle Edward had always said God didn't want him inside a church and he was fine with that. It was probably bad enough that he went into sanctified ground, Mommy said, with only a hint of a sigh in her voice.

The day was beautiful, just a faint hint of fall's crispness in the air. The leaves were still on the trees, brilliant with riotous colors. More people than Winry had ever expected showed up for the funeral – people from all over the world had been calling the house and sending notes and cards and flowers. Mommy and Daddy could barely keep up with it all, so Winry had taken over the thank yous. Still, to see so many people gathered around the gravesite surprised her. How did her irascible Uncle Edward get so many friends? If they'd let everyone speak who'd wanted to, they would've been in the cemetery all day.

As it as, a few people did talk; a professor from London, a man who'd traveled with Uncle Edward to Rome. Joannie read a letter from a woman in Cairo that they'd had to censor parts from, as it would have made even adults blush.

Daddy got up last to speak, a book in his hand. He talked about how Uncle Edward was a good man; that he'd met most of the people gathered at the cemetery through his travels. That he had a nasty temper but a good heart. He shared a story about Uncle Edward to make everyone laugh, despite their sorrow. And then Daddy smiled, a soft, bittersweet curve of his mouth that Winry had seen so few times before. Mommy clutched her hand and Winry wondered what her mother knew. "What only a few of you are aware of is that Brother and I left behind our home at a very early age. We lost our mother when we were just kids, and we started wandering around the country, searching for something that could make us whole again. Through Brother's attempts to help me, we were separated for a long time, years. We eventually found each other but in doing so, we left behind people we considered our family.

"Brother was strong, though. He told me that as long as we were together, we could face anything. And I believed him. Because of him, I studied medicine, became a medical researcher, found Janet." He smiled at Mommy. "But Brother couldn't settle down. He was always searching for something.

"It took years before he told me what he was searching for, though I had my suspicions. I wish I could say he found her."

Holding up the book, Daddy turned it so he could look at the cover. "The older Brother got, the more he wanted to remember what we'd lost when we left home. As I said, there aren't many people who knew all his secrets. One of them was he was an author, and he wrote the _Amestris_ series."

The gasps and murmurs rose in surprise around Winry. Behind her, someone was asking something about Disney being rumored to have purchased the rights to make them into movies. She smiled faintly at that one.

Daddy had practice in pitching his voice to carry, and his words cut through the babble of the crowd. "Brother wrote the series to honor the people we once knew, who helped us out so much when we were kids. But he gave our characters a little different ending than what happened to us in real life."

Winry nodded to herself. The older brother, Theodore, refused to leave Gwen behind any longer, and dragged her onto the train taking him away from Leisenburgh before proposing to her. The younger brother, Anthony, went off to study in the foreign land of Xing, and married a beautiful princess of that land. The series ended with the four of them at the beginning of another journey, this time to the west and Creata.

"Theodore married his Gwen, but Brother never got a chance to be with the girl he loved. That didn't stop him from searching the whole world, looking for something that might lead him back to her." Daddy took a deep breath, handing the book to Alfie. "When he left for England, Brother told me he thought he'd gotten some glimmer of hope. I hadn't seen him so excited in years. He wouldn't tell me anything about it, though – Brother was good at his secrets." He had to pause to let the knowing laughter die down. "I don't know what he found. His journal's all in code – and I've never been able to decipher his codes. But her name was written on the last page.

"Whether he did find something, I guess that'll be a mystery. But Brother crossed a world to find me. I can't imagine he'd do any less to find her." Daddy's voice caught and he paused, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping his eyes. "Thank each and every one of you for coming."

X X X

The family waited until everyone left before paying their final respects. Charlie took Daddy and Mommy away first, and Winry realized, as she hugged her father, that he'd suddenly become a very old man. Winry, Richard and Edy waited on Joannie as she said her last goodbyes. She turned from the grave, offering her family a smile.

Edy riding in his arms, Richard asked, "What were you saying to Uncle Edward?" as they walked down the hill toward their waiting car.

Joannie wrapped her arm around Winry, giving her a squeeze. "I told the Lost Boy to fly back to Neverland, back to his Wendy."

She squeezed her eyes shut briefly. "Joannie, you're so close. Daddy never told you, I guess. "Her name was Winry Rockbell, and she made Uncle Edward's arm and leg.

"Daddy named me after her."

X X X


	2. Anywhere But Here

_**Anywhere But Here  
**_

* * *

I hate hospitals.

I fucking hate them. The smell alone - I don't care how much bleach they use, it never covers up the stink of shit and death.

Peeling the plastic mask off my face, I shout, "Where's my doctor?"

The ward is quiet, too damned quiet, so all I hear are those stupid beeps and whooshes from the machines. I'm tied up to the damned things, a needle in my arm, the stupid mask over my face until I pulled it off. Monitors on my chest, reading out every heart beat. "Doctor!" I yell again, kicking my automail leg against the metal railings to make them ring.

A nurse comes through the door, with red hair under her little cap and skin like cream, freckles dotting her face. She gives me that look, the one I know all too well. "Mr. Elric," she says in that British accent of hers.

I grin back at her. "Nurse Urquhart."

"The doctor's on his rounds. He'll be in to see you soon." She frowns at me, waving a finger. "You know you're supposed to wear the mask!"

"Fuck that," I tell her, and smile more when she glares at me for cursing. Good Catholic girls hate it when I curse. I'm supposed to be way too old for that sort of thing, I guess. Yeah, like she's gonna stop me when no one else's been able to all these years. "I wanna see the doctor." I clatter my automail hand against the rails, too, and that makes her frown more. They really don't know what to think of my arm and leg. I told 'em it's a special design of prosthetic, designed by a genius. I let 'em think she's in the United States, rather than anywhere in Europe, because I can't tell 'em where she really is. Hell, they'd think I was demented if I mentioned Amestris, and Winry.

Urquhart sniffs at me, and pushes a curl back behind her ear. "Dr. Hirsch will be by to see you later today," she says, but she sighs, and adds, "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," I growl, "just want out of this bed." Damn it, I was in the middle of research, and this stupid thing happened, and I got hauled off to the hospital.

"Mr. Elric, you know you're not well." Urquhart picks up my chart and looks it over, and then stares at the monitors. Her lips tighten – never a good sign. "Your heart," she says, and she says it so gently.

"Nothing's wrong with my heart," I tell her, and thump my chest with my flesh hand.

I'm lucky. Urquhart doesn't laugh when I start coughing; she helps me get the mask in place instead. She runs her fingers over my hair to put the lacings back behind my ears. "Better?" she asks, tilting her head to the side, and I grumble. "Mr. Elric." Urquhart smiles at me, and I glance away, toward the books I'd managed to cadge out of the library. Fairy tales; myths and legends. But there was something in them, something that led me to think maybe I could use them to find a way back home. "Can I get you one of them?"

"Please," I say, "and my notebook."

She hands me the biggest book – the one I'd been looking at when I collapsed at that library – and my notes. "Don't rile yourself up," she said, wagging a finger at me as she walks out the door.

"Yeah, yeah," I tell her, already opening the book to my marker. My notebook opens to the middle, and I hesitate for a second, staring at the illustration. It was in Al's hand – I couldn't draw to save my life, except for circles and diagrams – a drawing of Winry. Not my niece, but the woman she'd been named for, Winry looks over her shoulder at the viewer, a wrench in her hand. She's a little surprised but happy, eyes wide and bright, and for a second, I think of Al's great-granddaughter, Joannie, and her bright blue eyes, and how much she reminds me of my oldest, dearest friend.

I close my eyes for a second, and my heart jerks in response. Damn, that hurts, so much, like it had in the library. I shudder, my fingers convulsing around the page. No, no, not Winry's drawing. I can't destroy it. I force my hand away. Those stupid machine are screaming out sounds, and I just want them to fucking stop. I can't think with them screeching, I just can't, and I know there's a way to get back home, I told Al, I told him I'd found the way, and this isn't how I'm supposed to go, I'm supposed to go proud and strong and –

Damn, it fucking _hurts_. My heart – something's wrong – I remember that agony from the library, when I'd flipped to the right page and saw _Amestris_ - not from any of Al's drawings for my novels, but an actual drawing of Amestris he hadn't penned – a transmutation circle, a mention of Xerxes, something about the Philosopher's Stone. I remember because there were words I hadn't expected to see – Central City, and Dietlinde Eckhart – and wonder again just who'd written this book. My lungs ache and my breath rattles in my lungs. Black spots dance in my sight and I hear someone shouting my name.

"Urquhart?" I gasp, and look up at the touch of a hand on my shoulder. I can't see anything except black – the dots, damn, they're those fucking arms, those oily, black hands reaching for me. I want to scream but I can't catch my breath and my heart's nothing but a drum of pain inside my chest, like it's gonna burst out of my chest.

I'm dying, I realize, and maybe, maybe that's enough – my soul will be free to go home, my soul might be able to find her, find Winry, oh, damn it, the pain. It's like a lightning bolt that just keeps striking, and won't stop, won't stop, won't –

- I scream, clutching at my chest as my heart explodes from within and –

- sheer _white_ and _agony_ and -

"Ed?"

Her voice is like a whisper, and I see blue eyes widening, and her mouth falling open and, for a second, before everything goes completely black, I sigh her name and know –

_I'm home._


	3. Sacrificed

**Sacrificed  
**

* * *

"Do you want me to ask around for a date for Ed?" Janet asked Alphonse, who blinked at the question. His brother and women, always a touchy subject. He'd seen the looks Edward garnered, though the man himself was oblivious to all but the most aggressive flirts. Al wasn't sure Ed even knew what to do with a woman, but someone had to have had the birds and bees talk at some point. "Al?"

He turned his attention back to Janet. "No, that's all right." It could be awkward, after all. Ed's automail was another forbidden subject here in this world. While there were people fascinated by automail, none of them yet were women. Al figured Brother would tell him if he'd met one, sure to bring up a passing reference to…

Winry. Al wished he could fix the promise he'd broken. _We'll be a team again._ He'd mentioned it to Brother once, only to have Ed say, "Winry's safe." He'd refused to say anything more on the subject, stomping off when Al would've pursued it.

"Don't you think he's lonely?"

Yes, Al almost said, but shook his head. Brother and he had sacrificed so much to be together again. One of those sacrifices was a beautiful, brilliant girl, who loved them both more than herself. She'd had no choice in the matter. Her loss haunted them both. Safety seemed a cold comfort when thinking of her tears, once she'd realized they were gone for good.


End file.
